Even though we were taught God does the impossible each and every day. The weight of so many disappointing moments was much heavier than our muchness could bear. As the alternative of fighting to maintain our muchness, we got lost in the pages of opinions and standards forced upon us by the frivolities of men.
There was no correlation with an epiphany. I wasn’t angry with God. Nor did I ask Him why me? I simply got on my knees and asked Him to forgive me for taking my life for granted.
Are you having an on again off again relationship with Jesus? Since you are somewhat uncertain because you are overwrought by fear; instead of overtaking fear with faith? Fear is nothing more than False Evidence Appearing Real---an apparition designed as a preventative measure.